Wednesday, August 3, 2011

To My Thyroid.

Dearest Thyroid,

Even though I know our separation was inevitable. It still hurts to have you gone. It hurts me to know that you allowed something else to come in between us. To separate us when we were working so perfectly together. I am angry that you helped it hide inside my neck and grow without my knowledge. When I found out that you allowed "C" into my body I was heart broken and devastated. I was angry and bitter, and wanted you out of my life. In my honest opinion I don't think they could have kicked you out fast enough for my taste.
Where once you kept me happy and full of life… I now feel like an empty shell.
The questions bounce around in my head like balls on a billiards table.

"Why me?"
"How could you?"
"Did I do this?"
"Will it come back or spread?"
"is it hiding anywhere else?"

You make me question the rest of my relationships too. You fill my heart with doubt and concern where there once was love and trust. Who else is harboring cancer in there? Ovaries? Lungs? Colon? Who is going to turn on me next? Or just maybe you are the only Benedict Arnold that was here. I pray you were my only traitor.

Oh, thyroid. Your secret relationship with cancer also made once close friends distant… and once distant friends close. You have turned my life upside down like an amusement park ride. You should know that I find none of this amusing.

I praise God for a wonderful doctor that has looked after my health for the past 11 years. she could see you… and she helped reveal your affair with cancer. I also have many other doctor friends that are helping me now too! Around 6 doctors and countless nurses and support staff are working hard to make sure you are gone and will never return.

In fact my surgeon removed you 12 days ago. Now, and only now am I coming to realize what all you did for me. It hurts me to know how much I depended on you. You let me down.
You should also know that just in case you decided to hide out anywhere else… My other doctors, an Oncologist and Radiation Oncologist are on the case to seek you out and rid you and your little cancer pal out of my life. I hope you and cancer will be happy together. Traitor.

I never want to see you again. If you ever think that you and cancer can sneak your way back into my body… well, it will be the last thought you ever have.
I have an army of people behind me. Not just medical professionals… but friends and family that hate you just as much as I do. You see, I am burning this bridge and have no plans to rebuild. I will be replacing you with a daily pill. A pill that should bring me some peace.

I will never stop fighting. I will never lose hope. I choose LIFE! A life with out you and cancer in it.
Oh! What a wonderful life it will be!

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